i wish... (maybe TMI for some)

I wish that I could freeze time.

I wish that no matter what, in that frozen time, everyone was happy and at peace and there was no sadness, loss, hurt, or anything bad to experience.

Today, I woke up to some of the worst news you can hear in this life. My grandpa, Tom Quan, passed away. He was battling cancer and was just placed in a nursing home to get better care. He wasn't wanting to eat, so I KNEW it was coming. I just went through this in June with Laurie. I knew it was coming, but I didn't want to believe it.

Growing up, I remember him sitting in his chair watching tv and not being able to hear it and that one christmas when he got new fishing set and went to the pool in the backyard to try it out just to come back in a few minutes later with his catch of the day.... his own lip! I will always remember him as he was then. Happy, healthy, HILARIOUS.

I never did get up to see him suffering and I am sad about that, but also happy. I don't want to have memories of him less than perfect. He is back to his perfect healthy self on his way to Heaven now, anyway, right?! I like to picture Heaven that way.

Seeing the decline of Laurie was the hardest thing I had ever seen. She went from eating, talking, and watching her shows, to gone in the matter of a WEEK. Now, she wasn't perfect. She wasn't healthy, and the tumor's were huge and growing daily, but she was THERE and she seemed happy. I saw her decline and was there when she passed and it was the hardest thing I had ever seen.

Family tells me that he passed peacefully in his sleep. This is the best way I can envision passing away. No struggles for breath. No fighting for life- just peacefully slipping away from his body.

I am happy that he is no longer struggling just as I was with Laurie, but I am sad and hurting that he couldn't be made better on this Earth, where he could still be with our whole family. Today is a sad day and I will spend it remembering all the good times with Grandpa Quan.

Rest in peace, grandpa!

Happy Halloween!!

Pictures will be added later this afternoon, but I cannot wait til Lexi is in her costume! She is going to be the cutest little tinkerbell! I'm excited for her 2nd Halloween.

So much changes in a year. Last year, she was our little bunny and she was SOOO cute but obviously, just a TINY little thing. Only 3 1/2 months old!! Now she's 15 1/2 months old... nearly 1 1/2 and babbling up a storm and even has a few words. She gets excited about dressing up and loves "cookie!"...

Her sweet Aunt Rachyl decided Lexi needed to learn the word cookie. I didn't mind at the time, but now ALL food is called "cookie" LOL.... She has no idea what an actual cookie is! It's pretty cute!

Have I mentioned how much I love her?! She is so cute and happy! I love it.

There are a lot of really exciting things happening around our home... We can start with June...
when Lexi becomes a BIG SISTER!! We are beyond thrilled and can't wait to add a little sibling into our home.

Btw- we bought a bottle of this wine! I think we'll save it for when our little Junebug arrives! :)

This pregnancy has been ROUGH so far! I thought I had morning sickness with Lexi, but my goodness- it does not even compare to this time around. It lasts all day... and NIGHT (and I have added back/ muscle pains and cramps) I've also had to go to the hospital THREE times already... yes, I'm just 8 1/2 weeks along right now... over kill? I think so! The first two times were because my dr couldn't find the little peanut on her u/s machine and wanted to make sure it wasn't ectopic and then the second time to make sure it's viable and the peanut has a heartbeat. The 3rd time was an actual ER visit. I had some bleeding and just didn't feel "right". I went over to the hospital and I had a subchorionic hemorrage and a cyst on one of my ovaries... Everything is okay, thank GOODNESS. Now, I'm really hoping to stay away from the dr's office until my next well-visit on the 11th. It seems like such a long way away, but I can't believe we're at the LAST DAY of the month already!! Where did October go!? If time keeps flying like this, this new little one will be here in what feels like a week from now! haha

I can't wait til Nick gets home tonight so he can get himself all dressed up (I think he's just keeping it simple and being a jets football fanatic)... He'll be taking Lexi trick or treating while I pass out candy!

Have I mentioned how much I don't like halloween?? Don't get me wrong, I love the cute decorative side and seeing all the kiddos dressed up, but I'm just REALLY not a fan of all the scary stuff. It just never sits well with me and I feel like such a whimp. Haha I don't count on it ever changing, so halloween will be a daddy/ Lexi/ #2 celebration! haha I'm perfectly happy being the photographer and candy passer-outter.

We'll be hosting Monday Night Football at our home while we pass out candy. It's always so fun to see all the dads hang around after their kids move onto the next home. We have the "man cave" set up in the garage with the pool table, beverage fridge, and 3 tv's... (because 1 wasn't enough????)

Anyways, I'll post more pictures as soon as Lexi is all costumed-up! :)

Hope everyone has a safe and fun Halloween!!

A few pics from our trip to the pumpkin patch! Lexi LOVED the bubbles next to the old shed. I wish I had better camera skills bc this background was perfect for some pictures!!




Off centered but Lexi and daddy on a "horse ride" haha This is the only type of horse ride I'll let her enjoy at pumpkin city. I feel bad for the pony's and they really stink and look disgusting, so I don't want Lexi anywhere near them- regardless of her fascination with them. EW!


More pics to come of Lexi with "her" pumpkin in her Tinkerbell costume!

oh goodness!!

Ok...

It has been WAYYYY too long since I've posted on here. I feel like I go in waves. I feel like these past few months have just FLOWN by and I didn't make one single entry!! How could that even be!? SO much has happened in our personal lives since the last entry!

Grandma Laurie lost her battle with cancer. She fought long and hard against that ugly disease but it's nice and comforting to know that she is no longer struggling or in pain. I know that she is up with our Heavenly Father as young and healthy as she has ever been... and with company too! This summer, our family friends lost their father, John D. Kramer. And another local family lost their sweet baby, Ruby. She was the cutest baby I had ever laid eyes on-- a true angel through and through. Her story just ripped at my heart and I don't believe I have ever cried as much as I did when I heard of her passing. I prayed harder than ever before that a transplant would come and be a match. I never gave up hope!!! Unfortunately, she was called home before that perfect match arrived.

My mom had neck surgery at the end of July, then followed that, 9 days later, with a heart attack! It's scary to think that my young... HEALTHY mom had a heart attack! I don't think I have wrapped my head around that still. She will get through it though!! :)

Lexi's 1st birthday was so much fun and we had a big ol' party for her!!! Family and friends came from all over to help celebrate the big FIRST birthday! I think next year will be MUCH more low key! All Lexi wants is sweets anyway! :) ...which is what motivated her to take her FIRST steps for everyone to see straight to her Aunt Rachyl, who unsurprisingly was holding some twisslers! haha My little girl loves her sweets!


Lexi is now walking more than she crawls and babbling like a crazy kid. I love the age she's at sooooo much! She is such a goofball and I wouldn't have it any other way! I love when she looks at me and goes on and on and I have absolutely no idea what she is saying or trying to say but she sure does look adorable attempting a conversation!!

After Laurie passed away, we got another kitty! Klepto was so sad and just moping around the house. She definitely  missed her grammie... her best friend! Wilson is our new addition to our family. He is an orange marbled tabby. He is so spunky and full of energy (too much energy for grandpa and Klepto's liking at times...) but... he's getting neutured today, so it'll all be calmer VERY soon!

It's hard to believe that the summer is nearly OVER! It's sad, actually! Where did the time even go??? We spent many days out in the sun at the park, beach, lake, and pool! Lexi is my little water bug! :) She just loves to get wet and splash... this child has NO FEAR... which means this mommy makes up for it all!! haha


I love to watch Lexi play with her little friends! We spent so many days with Lexi and her little friends! I love seeing her really interact with them and not just play with her toys NEXT to her little friends! :) She's definitely a little charmer, too! ;)

This week, I decided I would start offering Lexi to model for boutique's. She is so cute and has been the perfect little model for all the little creations I make. I would love to help out other boutique's now, too! :)

I love this little face!! She spent much of her Lake Mead time nakey as she had the WORST diapey rash from teething ALL SUMMER! (we FINALLY broke 3/4 mollars though!)

Grandma Laura got Lexi a cool new set of man-powered wheels for her bday! Lexi is obsessed!

  So I guess this is the best way too cool off: ??? Every time the door opens, it's a race between Lexi and Wilson to climb in. HAHA

Lexi's first trip to the aquarium with Lauren and Nolan. Lexi LOVED the fish and sharks. I loved seeing this excited face all day. Totally worth every second of it!

I'm actually making an appearance on the family blog! Super San-O with grandpa and the Greens!

Wearing her super cute USC tutu and headband that Kristin, from Sunset Bowtique, made for her! <3 it!

Our baby, Wilson!

Lexi just loves to steal my big floppy hat! :) I think it's cute!

Fresh face just up from her nap!

Mommy and Daddy snuck out without Lexi to attend the neighbor's daughter's wedding! :) Time out without baby is such a treat! 

 Although... I do really miss this face when I'm gone! She is my favorite!!

Pre-walking at a playdate with our friends, Nolan and Lauren! :)

Well, I'll leave you with that for now! Hopefully it won't be so long before my next post!!

xoxo

K

a little giveaway...

Hey!!

So, this is another quick entry. I follow THIS blog, it's amazing. Kellie and James lost their tiny angel baby, Maddie a couple months ago and I love reading about how she is coping day-to-day. I can't help but be inspired by her.. she is making the cutest bows and name blocks and is even taking photography classes. She's amazing.

Anyways, today she is doing a give away and to get an entry, you have to comment on her latest entry, but also post a blog entry about it on your own page, so here it is. http://kandjstaats.blogspot.com/2011/04/thanks-and-giveaway.html They were contacted by e-mealz to give a 3 month giveaway for one super lucky person. They also are offered a 10% discount to everyone who signs up, if you use the word : stronger 

I would love to win but even more, I'd love to just get more people to check out their blog. It's so heartbreaking and heartwarming and inspiring... go check it out! :) http://kandjstaats.blogspot.com/2011/04/thanks-and-giveaway.html

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

xoxo
K

Catching up on Pictures!

No words. Well, few words- lots of pictures! :) I've been failing lately!

yum.

she loved our walk!! side note- that's her favorite toy... we lost it today! *tear*

could do this walk every day! i loved it and the weather could not have been any better!

she almost fell asleep in the swing! lol

sunshine, beach walks, and war wounds.

This past weekend was... perfect. the sun was shining and we got to head out for a walk along the beach in San Clemente. It was amazing-- I even got a little color!! Lexi was sooo good in her jogging stroller for the entire hour we were walking on the path from North Beach down past the pier and back, too. Everything about yesterday was just amazing.... The walk, lunch at Pedro's Taco's, then a walk down Del Mar! I could do that every day.... it was perfect... maybe a little too perfect.

when we got home, I started to make Lexi's new favorite meal- avocado, garlic salt, and chicken. yum (actually, it really is good. Nick even agrees!) I was cutting up the avocado and getting the seed out with the knife and it slipped, cut right through the avocado skin and right into my hand!! I got my first kitchen war wound. I feel like a real cook now. hahaha It looks pretty whimpy from the outside, but it bled like crazy and I definitely got a great view of the inside of my hand. I sliced the skin between my pointer and middle fingers and although it looks pretty small from on top, it's pretty deep. I thought for sure I would need to go to the ER and get stitches, but luckily Nick and I were able to stop the bleeding and get it all splinted up. I'm going to have my two fingers taped together for a few days so it can heal. Everything about that is fine-- except I definitely can't crochet right now.

That makes me sad. I have a goal of 500 hats to donate this year. Missing out on crocheting days makes me fall behind and that's just not fun. I'm going to host a crocheting party in the next month and donate all the hats that are made to Knots of Love. I'm excited about that organization and can't wait to give hats. I love their cause and have seen first hand how happy the recipients of the hats are.

On Saturday, I made my own hat pattern and gave the hat to Laurie when I finished. She loved it. Seeing her wear the hats I make for her makes it ALL worth it. :) I know she's a little embarrassed about losing her hair, so seeing her smile with the hats is awesome. I hope to bring that same smile to the faces of MANY more cancer patients.

On another note, Lexi is into absolutely EVERYTHING lately! She is crawling and pulling herself up on anything and everything... even tried to pull herself up on Klepto kitty!! (poor thing lays up on the tv most of the day now to stay safe from Lexi) haha... I'm SOOOO happy Klepto is back to her happy little self too. She had 12 teeth pulled last week because she has a mouth disease called stomatitis, basically super bad gingivitis. The only known cure for it is to pull the teeth. She was so sad for a while but has perked back up since her little surgery and eating everything in sight... even getting into the bread on the counter (ate through the plastic to get to the bread!)

So life is pretty busy and crazy right now, but I wouldn't have it any other way Lexi is the best little baby ever and continues to be the happiest baby around. I'm so happy and blessed to get to be her Mommy. I couldn't love her more. :) Nick and I are very happy and proud parents! (I think Nick is REALLY beginning to enjoy being a daddy now... he's always liked it but I can definitely see him enjoying it a TON more lately and I love it sooo much!)

I'll get back on here during nap time to post pictures from the weekend, but for now, I just leave you with words. lots of words. sorry!

Hooked on Hope!

So for the last week, I've been a crazy crocheting person. I found my yarn and taught myself how to make hats and even learned a bunch of new stitches. After I made one for Laurie, and seeing how much she LOVED it, I decided that I could do so much more....

Now, Hooked on Hope is born. It's my new little venture. Since I love crocheting so much (it's such a nice little release for me), I'm going to start selling them. I was going to do a little promo until Easter, but I decided it's so much better to do it always. So, for every single hat I sell, I'll be donating one to a cancer patient. Back in January, when I was taking Laurie in for her radiation treatments at Mission Hospital, I saw a little basket that was filled with little home-made goodies... blankets, hats, scarfs, etc. When I saw one of the patients going through and picking out her favorites, I asked her about it. She told me that Locks of Love donates them to radiation treatment facilities. I recently looked into this and contacted the organization. Although it is an amazing organization and I fully support their cause, they are NOT the ones who should be getting credit for these nice homemade donations. So, here I am... wondering which organization should get credit for this. I'm going to keep searching for who does this and if I can't find answers, Hooked on Hope will be going further and becoming a full-fledged non-profit organization. I'm kind of really excited about this idea and LOVE the patterns I've come across, from Inner Hooker. They are the CUTEST and I really can't wait to see where this little venture will go. If you have a chance, please check out my facebook fanpage, http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Hooked-on-Hope-by-Katee/110661299017247. Please become a fan and encourage others to fan my page too. I really want to reach as many people as possible. I really don't want this to be a "Mission Viejo" thing... or even an "Orange County" thing. I want this to reach as MANY people as possible. I really hope that I can bring smiles to cancer patients faces everywhere with this simple little thing. I love Hooked on Hope and I really can't wait to see it reach it's potential.

Hooked on Hope has really been running my life for the last week. Lexi has been crawling EVERYWHERE and getting into everything lately. I can't wait til our little gate arrives tomorrow. It'll be amazing being able to leave Lexi in a room to help Laurie out and know that she won't be eating any more cat food. (YUCK!!!) She is getting so big and I can't believe how fast she is growing up lately. She is adorable and I am the luckiest mommy in the world to have such an amazing baby girl!!!

Well, I'll be posting lots of pictures soon. Lexi is my little hat model. Only thing that would be cuter is if she had a little hair! haha Have a great week, everyone!!

xoxo
K

Everybody’s workin’ for the weekend!

I don’t know why, but I have that song in my head. It’s not like I have heard that song recently or anything… weird!

After I finished making the hat for Alexis the other day, I decided I was going to make one for Laurie too. Since she always wears hats and recently lost her hair (from her treatments), I thought she would love one too. So, yesterday, Nick and I made a quick trip to Michaels and picked up some yarn. Then, I continued on to make this:

 

I think I’m getting better at this. I love doing it. It’s fun. I took the flower clip off of one of Lexi’s headbands today. Nick and I will have to go back to Michael’s today and make some more clips. I just LOVE this flower. I got it from the little boutique shop at CalElite, where we take a little Mommy and Me gymnastics class.

I’m soooo thankful I have a daughter. I love the girly things and LOVE to be creative and make things for her. I really hope my next baby will be a boy though, because I love them, too! I am just super happy that I did get a daughter.

Today, I decided to make her “lonely” picture frame into a bow holder, too. This project was q quick one. I ran over to Michaels so I could pick up some ribbon, a hot glue gun (finally). a flower, and clips for Laurie’s hat.

To make the frame, I cut equal lengths of the purple and green ribbon and taped them to the back of the frame, so I could see how it would look when completed. While I was doing that, I plugged the hot glue gun in so it would be hot enough when I was ready to make the ribbon more permanent. I lifted each piece of ribbon so I could get under the taped part, and put a line of glue and pushed it down. The tape was PERFECT since it kept the glue from burning my fingers when it leaked through the sheer ribbon.

After about 5 minutes, it was set and ready to hang! I love it up on her wall and it perfectly fills the space by the door. Quick and easy project!! –Success!

To finish the hat I made for Laurie, I picked out a silk flower from Michaels, then pulled the flower part from the stem and removed layers until it was the perfect size. I bought little hair clips and glued fabric around it so it wouldn’t hurt her head when she wore it for a long time. Then, I glued the flower into place on the clip. Simple- it was done.

 

Before naptime, Lexi and I played in her room. I love her reaction to all the changes. I’ll HAVE to get it on video so I can show you all. She talks to the pictures- and gets the BIGGEST smiles!! My daughter is ADORABLE! I turned the heater on and I guess Lex was a little cold. She crawled over and planed herself right infront of it. haha Smart baby!

Shades, Park, and Room update!

 

 

We had such a fun day today!! I love Nick’s 3 day weekends. We decided not to head out to Arizona this weekend since the weather is so crummy and we weren’t really ready (laundry was still piled up, the boat accessories weren’t installed, and we have a huge to-do list at home). It’s kind of nice to stay home and just hang out!  

 

We started off with a trip to Target to pick up some tylenol and yogurt for Lexi. She is cutting 4 or 6 teeth right now. Holy SMOKES!! Thought it was just two but looked a little closer and definitely saw 4 making their way in!!

She loved her new shades! (they didn’t last long… fell out of the stroller, got kicked and scraped up by Nick, then ran over by the stroller… LUCKILY they were only $1, so we’re stocking up on our next trip) haha

She’s too cute! Checking us out abover her shades. Cool kid!

I finished painting the letters for Lexi’s room, so Nick and I decided to go for a walk and take Alexis to the park. She loves the swings!

I live for my baby girl. Her smile will always be the highlight of my day.

Daddy took her on a few *new* toys at the park. He took her on the big slide. She didn’t really care.

This was her face for the rest of the park trip!

He tried the teeter totter, too. He didn’t really fit on it and kept bottoming out. I got a good laugh!

I just love these two. He is such a good daddy! I love being able to take the backseat and be the “photographer” while they have fun daddy/ daughter time!

She’s so cute in her headband, from Sweet Ella Rose, on Etsy! She was clearly happy we were home here.

 

Here’s the little room update we’re in the middle of. Today, Nick and I picked up these wooden letters and I painted them. I love polka dots!

 

We finally hung the pictures, too! Nick loves this one!

We stapled ribbon to the back of the letters so we had something to hang them with.

 

Lexi kept getting in the way, trying to eat the letters, so I decided to put her in “baby jail”. It was also dinner time, so we got a little creative in dinner time today. She loved it.

 

Klepto decided to perch in the window while we were working.

Have I ever mentioned that I love baskets?! They are AMAZING in keeping everything organized.

 

Here’s the final result of the letters. We hung them above her door. I love it!

 

Nick was working so hard!!

 

I need to get on this. I have to fill these frames. I’m kind of failing here.

…and here

 

Here’s the pretty pics of my baby girl. (I really won’t be surprised if she’s completely full of herself because of us. We put so many pictures of her up in our room and now hers, too! )

 

I love this frame. I found ultrasound pictures and thought they were perfect to add to here.

“you are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray” is on that picture. I like it- Nick doesn’t.

Here’s the final result (well, we still have a couple shelves to add above her glider.)

 

Well, Lexi’s sleeping, the Lakers game is on, and a couple friends are over. Have a great Friday night!!

 

xoxo